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Evening Personalities Take Aim At Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Immigration Scheme
TV's leading hosts devoted their airtime criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's recently unveiled visa program, dubbed the "golden visa," portraying it as a clear cash-for-residency scheme for the wealthy.
Stephen Colbert's Pointed Spin
Opening his program, Stephen Colbert offered a mock Christmas song about the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... ruins everything he touches."
The subject was the new plan which allows foreign nationals to acquire U.S. residence for the price of one million dollars, or "platinum" option for $5 million. A government page guarantees processing "in record time."
"A brief thought for you to rich immigrants: before you fork over the cash, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped.
He pointed out that the scheme is also intended to "squeeze cash" from companies looking to hire skilled workers, requiring large costs. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get two free nights at a hotel of your choice – provided that it's the that one hotel," he added.
"The most thorough background check the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these applicants absolutely meet the standard to be in America."
"That is important, you have to prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"
Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary
On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."
"Here's a card that will permit affluent foreigners to live here," he said. "For a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your choosing."
"Maybe it's time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.
Kimmel mocked the brevity of the application, observing it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."
"That's right, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."
Seth Meyers on Economic Issues
Meanwhile, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping approval numbers amid economic concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term since they were angry about the economy," he explained.
Recently, in a effort to address affordability, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a array of grocery items, and reacted strangely to boxes of cereal.
"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."
"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"
Meyers wrapped up by criticizing conservative media arguments of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like what FIFA did," he laughed.
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